I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
