I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
