i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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