For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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