It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
