yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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