They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
