tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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