She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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