Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He has the fingertips of a God
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