We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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