Need sex. Gaining weight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
