i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Two words: nipple clamps
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