This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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