At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
