Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
