I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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