So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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