I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
