I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
