I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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