I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will be naked everywhere
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
