Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He better not be in your backpack
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
