Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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