At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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