She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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