marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
