xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just pee around me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
