She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
