Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
