yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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