3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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