can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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