You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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