my sisters under your porch take her home
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
