Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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