you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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