Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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