no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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