Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
