We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
