if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize