need another drink. this is the easiest way
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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