I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
