My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
