Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
