i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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