I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
