im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize