I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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