Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
