matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
