I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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