hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
