Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
