In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
