fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
