just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
