I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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